February 7, 2017
President Steve Bannon
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, DC 20500
Dear President Bannon,
How time flies! It seems like just yesterday you were promoting fake news, alternative facts, and white nationalism as the boss man of Breitbart. Now, look at you! Promoting fake news, alterative facts, and white nationalism from inside the Oval Office. Fool enough people enough of the time and there you go.
Sure, Hillary won the popular vote and Donald Trump, though he came up nearly 3,000,000 votes short, won the majority of electoral votes. But none of that matters! Because you get to slip Executive Orders onto the desk of a man who detests reading and learning and stuff like that. So now You Da Man. Way to go!
And kudos on that Muslim Ban. That will teach people to think they have a legal right to be here just because they have a legal right to be here. I mean, what were they thinking? Expect the unexpected, am I right? Isn’t that what you told your “boss”?
Protesters think you lack compassion. Hell, yeah! Compassion is not what you’re about. I get that! Compassion is for chumps, not Trumps. Compassion is for people who cry like babies when they think of the gas chambers that killed their grandparents, or about five-year-olds blocked at the U.S. border from seeking medical treatment because of where they were born. Not you! You believe in a No Tears Holocaust, where everyone suffered equally, so suck it up, snowflakes!
I see where you’ve set it up so the media and judiciary will take the blame the next time there’s a terrorist attack. Boo, hiss on them, right? And because you tricked that bozo into signing you on to the National Security Council, you can steer things in the right (wink, wink) direction, by ignoring domestic terrorists. Excellent, as Mr. Burns would say.
I gotta hand it to you. Oh, that’s right. We already did.
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